Bike polo. 8 hour bike races.

Even though bikesnob makes fun of it. Even though it is as hip as riding a fixed gear with tight shorts and no helmet without brakes. Even though it could be a pre 80's night leg warm up, it is FUN. The kids play at the hockey rink under the Bloomfield bridge Thursdays at 6pm. I thought it was going to be all dudes in girls pants riding brakeless fixed gears, but I was totally wrong. Games are like 10 - 15 minutes each, and require tons of skill and are actually kind of tiring. I will go back.

Mohican 100 is less than 24 hours away. 6 hours of driving for 8 hours of racing. That is a good ratio. I have unobtainable goals: to not flat. I just want the chance to see how I can do if I dont have bad luck, that is simple enough right? I am also curious as to what a 100 dollar entry fee is good for. I guess a buck a mile is standard for a bike race, but I still dont have a course map or elevation profile. I asked Wes the conquerer if he was doing it and he responded with "Oh man, I think that course was very poorly marked last year." Awesome, cause I get lost on courses that ARE marked. We shall see, we shall see. Amy still has the voice mail from after the Wilderness 101 where I sound like a zombie and just kept saying "that was so hard... that was so hard..."
I could always SACK OUT like Gunnar and do the 100k. I guess that is wrong of me, because the 100 mile would be a 100 k for him with the shortcuts he would find. Lord only knows what a 100k will end up being for him.(never letting it go)

Its like a new sport.

Four of us piled into the Mayhew's wagon for the WVMBA lost creek race on Saturday. The race has 3 names from what I can tell: WVMBA #6, Lost Creek, and the White Oak Challenge. When a race had 3 different names, that is serious. It was going to be close to a 3 hour race. On the road, I know exactly what I need to carry for 3 hours, how much I need to eat, how much I need to drink, etc. Mountain biking... uh....ummm

I thought back to my last WVMBA race. I drank one half of a bottle over 2 hours. That means one bottle should be good for 3 hours right? Oh wait, its like 90 degrees. The burner was following the fast dudes and watching them pick bottles up off of picnic tables as they went past. Each lap I would see where people stashed bottles on slower sections of the trail so they could grab them. Learn the hard way.

The most surreal part of the race was on the last half of the last lap. Im slowly climbing. Im in like 3rd place, waiting for the fast dudes to blow by me, totally blown up. I look ahead (we were passing lapped sport riders) and I see somebody JOGGING on the trail wearing full bike stuff. I am totally blown and cant really comprehend what I am seeing. My thought process was like this "A duathlete training?... The harder I go now, the sooner I get water... Why is that person jogging on the course? How can those fast dudes only have a 2x9 setup... I am in my 22x34 I think....." Then I realize that the person jogging is the STOKER FROM THE TANDEM. I guess she jogs the hills and he rides them? They enter the Clydesdale class and are competitive from what I can tell. Totally nuts considering that there was a hike a bike that I could barely push my bike up.

Mountain biking is cool at the end. Everybody was blown and pretty friendly when you came up on them. One dude was like "go ahead bro..." as he dropped from 2nd to 4th in a matter of minutes.

Can I got a post about this race without mentioning that Gunnar cut the course all 3 laps and then out sprinted me in the last 100 yards? Its like the scene in 3 amigos where the guy finds out that all the quick draws were camera tricks and fake, he is totally devastated. Apparently the guy who got 2nd also did that, but he would have beaten me anyway. The extra 20 dollars Gunnar got is not going to be worth me NEVER letting this go.

Unselfish bike racer stuff.

Bike racers are the worst. Colin had a post a long time ago about how they are like infants and just baby themselves constantly. Not only that, but they are pretty hedonistic ("training" 15 hours a week is a lot different than doing push ups or something for 15 hours)...

Anyway. Three cool things that I have come upon (I am sure there are a million more, these are kind of local) that cyclists are doing in no particular order are:

- Miles 4 melanoma is a bike ride from Ohio to Argentina. That is long. They are trying to raise money for cancer research.

Elves and more race team is a team in Ohio/PA that are raising awareness for their title charity. The charity distributes thousands of bikes to underprivileged kids for the holidays. Pretty rad.

Speedgoat Bike raffle. This is a good thing to give money to if you are a bike racer, because you have a chance of getting something back so its not really like giving at all. Joking. For reals, 10 bucks gives you the chance to win a Niner. How many races will you enter that you have no chance of even making your entry fee back, but yet you will give 40 dollars to get shelled.

Thanks to ruggs for getting me off my ass and finally posting. I have been out of town hosting a bike trip with senior citizens.

Art I can appreciate

Ruggs summarizes this weekends bike (mis)adventures. Oh well. Live and learn.
Courtesy of the G-man who is now a new englander, this is just amazing. I guess it is the "off season" for this dude.

racing for less than gas money.

Speedweek.
I have kept up with the speedweek crits via the blogosphere (blogger put a red line under that word as if it isnt real?), and I must say that it is bizarre that people love crits so much. Each entry talks about crashing, nearly crashing, broken 1000 dollar wheels, road rash etc.

Turkey Hill.
People complain about the local pro team(s) showing up at the Lancaster county races and beating up on people. I must say, watching the break at Kirkwood go and the break at TH go were two different experiences. TH, the break rolled away and invited people to be in it. Kirkwood was another story, gaps formed and people were blowing up on the second lap when it went. Because I missed both of them, I guess my opinion hardly matters.

Wilkesville cycling classic.
MIDDLE OF NOWHERE Ohio. 3 years prior, I took a 180 mile bike trip downriver with a couple of awesome girls as they were leaving to ride to California. I escorted them out for what was supposed to be a day, and ended up being 2 or 3 days of riding. I had my brother come pick me up rather than pay for a bus home. The Ohio river was lined with union guys camped in front of their former employers in what was apparently years of striking. We would ride past houses with SCAB painted across the front of them. In tour de france fashion, people had painted "JOE SMITH = SCAB" on the road as you rode past. Weird. This area consists of the borders between Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia. It is extremely rural and poor.

It is also REALLY hilly. Insane hills. Relentless hills. This means good bike racing courses. The wilkesville course is a clover. Riders head north, then south, then west, passing through the start finish two times before actually finishing. There is one climb, it is a mile long and about 400 feet. However there is 5700' of climbing, made up by the never ending rollers. Route mapper, Scott Thor provides the profile of the brutal course.



The smallest field ever led to the early shelling of most of it, with only 4 together for the final pass through town. Going into it, Turner and I decied that since we had no teammates, we would make sure that we were both in every move, then settle it like men on the last climb. This worked well, as it it was just us two for the final 1 mile climb. I attacked him and got away solo, thinking that it was just 2 miles downhill to the finish (please consult elevation profile). That was like the longest 5 miles of my life. At one point, a finishing female rider was cooling down, coming at us and I asked how much longer and she didnt respond. After the race, Turner said he asked her the same thing as he chased me and she just laughed. Turner is an awesome friend / cycling nemesis. We sprinted against each other after we attacked the field at Turkey Hill the day before, and 24 hours later we are trying to demoralize the other. I could see his moto less than a minute back and just tried to keep the pace as high as I could. I am really good at drafting, but not so good at soloing.

I managed to stick it for my first ever solo victory. I was stoked, but I wish that the field was bigger to make it seem more real. I did break some victory salute rules of the previous post, but there was a cop car and a moto in front of me, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

To complete my Bohemian lifestyle...

Well the whole jock thing isnt really so Bohemian and I really have to maintain street credibility or I might be labeled a gentrifier or something, so occasionally I will write some thoughts down. I shot some over to Brad at Urban Velo. I could literally throw something to his house, as he is just 2 blocks over, but I am actually too lazy and just email it. Anyway, the magazine is a collaboration between himself and Jeff. Both are Pittsburgh dudes who put together a sweet magazine that revolves around what I would call the "urban cycling lifestyle." I dont really know how else to describe it. It encompasses anything from Alley Cat races, to commuter bikes with fenders and generator hubs to bike polo; just general bike love.

Bikes = awesome. People doing creative things = awesome. People doing creative things involving bikes = 2x awesome (Dr. Stubna, please check my math?)

Anyway, I summed up the last 6 years of my life in like 800 words for the May issue. As one of the cheapest people alive, I really appreciate the fact that you can download the magazine for free online.

Download it here in html or pdf
Article.

Yes, Erok, I pee my pants a bit before each race.

Victory Salute Rules

This is a working definition. Please add in the comments.

- No hands shall come off of the bars on a weekday
Obvious exceptions are stage races, and 1 week series, like speed week that is going on now, or super week. This should just go without saying, but be modest at your training races. You went there knowing you would win right? If you dont win, its just training and you were doing "efforts" prescribed by your coach.

- No hands shall come off of the bars where your age is greater than the field size
You are "elite" by usac definition, a 23-29 year old person racing some podunk race. You shopped around for a race that you can win, and you have found it. Thing is, it is such a podunk race, only 12 others showed up. NO VICTORY SALUTE! (Does not apply to masters 45+. Its still amazing to me that they can get a field of 20 guys that old that can still drive to the races without crashing or needing handicapped parking.)

- Do not do anything that will date the victory salute
Remember lance with the Arsenio Hall in 93? Remember Arsenio Hall? Exactly. In 20 years do you want to be telling your grandchildren about your win in the C race at a local cyclocross series and have a picture of you doing "the Roger Rabbit" dance move across the line. Imagine the time it would take for you to even explain to them who Roger Rabbit was, more or less why you decided that was the right thing to do at the time. Picture grandpa Simpson telling the story. Skip it.

- Only first place raises his/her hands.
Dude, you lost. Second is good, yes. You stand on the podium, yes. But you still lost. If you are happy with NOT winning, maybe you should go to Russia or RACE MOUNTAIN BIKES or some such thing where everybody is a winner.

- Field sprint winners, please keep your hands on your bars.
We know you can suck wheels and then come around everybody in the end. Dont celebrate that you missed the freaking break.

- In fact, everybody else keep your hands on your bars as you finish.
I see this all too much. Dudes sitting up with their hands off, cruising across the line 10 seconds after the winners go through. I think it is to show that they DID NOT TRY in the sprint. Yeah dudes, we get it. You probably gave a leadout that Cipo would give a Ferrari for and that is why you are stretching out now. Its not because you got dropped on the last lap, we understand. We know you are fast, its just interesting that you decide to stretch out as you go through the area with the most spectators, which also happens to be the start finish. Look ma' no hands!

- Celebrate in proportion to the race
It just shows a lack of confidence in yourself if you go ape shit after winning the D collegiate race. Both hands off, arsenio followed by hands clapping then jersey tugging with team name stretched tight... ... ... What are you going to do when you win the collegiate D regional championship, then the D national championship. YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT. You are going to end up having to carry the head to the University's Mascot in your rear pocket in case of another chance victory. Dont risk this. Ramp the salutes up proportionately to the race level.

GDMBR image dump 2006. MONTANA

Feeling nostalgic. Great divide mountain bike route with longtime friend matt.


Abandoned border crossing. Canada/US border


Glacier National Park in background


Camping at "Jim Creek, Montana" Seriously nothing around for 50 miles.


I just remember how much bear scat was along this climb.


We ate huckleberries on top of huckleberry pass. Careful, the Grizz also loves them.


Reward for climbing, nice views.



Climbing more, always climbing more.




Getting water to drink


BEARS!!!!!!!!! oh no, just cows.



VERY near the unabomber's driveway



"uh lets just camp here on the side of the road"



View


Tunnel from 1911


Old mill that was on top of a mountain.


Civilization!!



Ghost town that was once the capital. Gallows and everything.




I think this was the only bear bag we did well.


Another view

6368' seemed high at the time. 4th divide crossing.


Southern MT gets dusty.


1 state down 4 to go.

News Flash: bike racing is still hard.

Saturday we loaded up the Escort wagon LX and headed to the race at the lake. RATL #2. Amy's race started 5 hours before mine, which gave optimum time to watch the storm clouds roll in and watch the sunrise, as we had to leave at 5:45am.

Driving to Ohio has been nice. You dont drive into the sunrise like when you head to lancaster, and the total toll for getting to Monroe Falls, which is 110 miles away was $1.00. Very nice.

While warming up a dude was asking which Indiana the IRMC team was from. He asked if we were there the week before. He didnt mean it in a rude manner, but I thought it was pretty obvious that we were there the week before. We were in every move until the winning move went away, and we won the field sprint. This was like a "mental note, be more aggressive this week" type situation.

Anyway, the bike race happened and we all worked super well together to get Jake the win. That was sweet. There were lots of FAST dudes there. One of them probably has more stars and stripes jerseys than I do regular jerseys.

Drive home from Ohio, eat, pack up the mountain bike stuff for the Greenbrier challenge on sunday. Mayhew brought over free coffee and we pressed it before heading out at 8:45. "Wow we can leave late today! 8:45!"

Mountain bike racing is really hard. You cant suck wheels. You cant sit in because you have a teammate up the road. You cant fake an attack and then sit on the break when it gets established. All you do is think "am I going as hard as I can?" Then you get passed by Gunnar who started 2 minutes back and is like your dad's age.

After sliding on my chest/shoulder/head for a good 10 feet, I hopped up, hoping to not lose position. All I heard was "are you ok steevo?" It was a woman's voice. I was in the middle of the woods in a weird state, am I tripping or something? Who knows my name??? Poor Betsy Shogren had some bad luck and was wrestling her chain off her bike right where I fell down. Weird.

Anyway, I kept pedaling real hard like everybody else and got 5th, qualifying for nationals or something. Nationals are on my birthday in Vermont. I have driven that drive once, and it was REALLY far. I didnt even actually drive, I sat shotgun and my teammate Greg drove. Aside from the great roads in upstate NY, my only real memory of the drive was it being like 3:30 am, needing to find a motel, and not staying somewhere cause the guy wouldnt go from 45 dollars to 40 or some such amounts.

My neuroticism really took hold this week when I was trying to find lighter tubeless wheels for my bike. I actually called local bike shops asking prices. RETAIL prices for bike parts, who does such a thing? I got 5th in the expert race, I deserve at least cost right? (this is really thick sarcasm about how nobody wants to pay for anything, myself included)

Weekend highlight: On the line, the dude next to me says "Is Chris Horner on that team?" I gave the usual "Its me and like a bunch of fast dudes, they needed a guy from Pittsburgh." Then I went on about how I want to look through Horner's garage, because if some scrub expert racer gets stuff at cost, imagine what the real deal gets?

Potential lowlight: This is two sunday's in a row that I thought to myself "dude if you crash, you might die." Both involved a mountain bike course where you ride down a waterfall, although we got to do it 4 times at Greenbrier. I wont even talk about how I swtiched wheels before the race and the cassettes didnt match up. Oh I just did.

Still getting Bicycling for free.

Dont get me wrong, I LOVE FREE STUFF. However, I got the newest issue of Bicycling mag the other day in the mail. I have been getting them free (as punishment?) for registering for some race or other. I admit that I do read them, as some of the articles are at least interesting. When the first issue arrived, it said that I was going to get 3 issues free. I joked that it was how long it took for them to rerun the same article, kind of like the local news has the same stories every year.

Anyway, the fact that I didnt know who "patrick dempsy" is really took away from the awe of him losing 12 pounds cycling. I thought it was a huge misprint and they forgot a 0 and he was some guy that lost tons of weight riding. No, just some famous guy talking about his 6,000 dollar road bike. The next few pages reminded you that you NEED one too. That was all expected.

The triathlon buyers guide took it to the next level of crapiness. Why would I buy this mag and not a tri mag if I wanted tri stuff? Whatever, slow news week.

It really hit the fan when I was looking at the race wheel guide. Bicycling magazine made me NOT want to look at carbon fiber wheels. How could somebody do this? Well, they ONLY LIST THE WEIGHT IN POUNDS. Seriously? Pounds? With the exponential cost on the high end of grams to dollars, you are seriously going to list a wheel at 1.05 lbs?

Regardless on your feelings of this crazy idea called the metric system, some stuff is better stated when you can get a more accurate reading and relate it to other things. As a total wheel weenie, I cannot tell you what a single pair of my wheels weighs in pounds. I dont get it.

PS. I just built up my new LOOK 585, the bottle cages I went with weigh a scant 0.07055 lbs each!!!!

PPS. Next time you are in the market for buying running shoes, check out bicycling mag, because they dedicated a few pages to it. Awesome.