in case you did not see the movie on face book.

if you dont read all of it, at least watch the cartoon

Best cartoon ever. There are a few swear words... cartoons about bike racing are the best... Chodroff found it, not sure who made it.





So if you take a bunch of bike racers to an arcade and play air hockey it gets pretty competitive. 45 minutes of air hockey leaves a pretty fit dude more sore than riding for 8 hours.

I decided to forgo the USGP in New Jersey this year. Last year it was the first race I ever dropped out of because I was sucking so bad. I was kind of ashamed of myself. I had no desire to race 90 dudes and fight to not get lapped. Cycling purgatory: Race one of the biggest races in the country for 50th (based on my scientific "i beat him a few times... this is what he got" or race regionally and try to win.

Pittsburgh has been getting springlike weather for the past week. Friday I headed out to do a quick spin, get my heart rate up, then head home. The cool guys call these "openers"... Well like 3 hours later I was riding my bike still in Riverview Park. It was too nice to pass up. Riverview was perfect, the leaves covered the ground and made the whole park orange. So rad. Days like that are why I convince myself that it is ok not to have a coach. Anyway, halfway through the ride I kind of admitted to myself that the weekend would be a bust since I rode too long and didnt have food or water.

So we headed to some races in Ohio. Lake Effect on Saturday and OVCX on Sunday. Both days had pretty killer fields and both had good, fun, different styles of courses. I managed to win Saturday. I was stoked. Only my second or third or fourth win of the year (do you count the oval? the mohican where I got DQ'ed?...) I held a 10 - 15 second gap on Gerry, shawn and Ernie for like 45 minutes. It was super hard.

Sunday was a wide open fast course. It was so fast that the fastest dudes didnt win. After a few laps of racing, myself and Mitch had a small gap on some of fastest dudes in Ohio. Paul Martin and Matt Weeks, who literally rode away from me a few weeks earlier were giving a huge chase to catch us.

I got out sprinted in the end. I towed the dude around a good bit (I think.. it always seems that you do more work than the other guy)... I attacked him a good bit the last two laps. He couldnt pull through, said his legs were gone. But still had the jump to go with my attacks. I know it is just bike racing, but I tossed and turned a few times in bed last night thinking about how I should have attacked more. I was so afraid of being caught by Paul and Matt that I didnt put it ALL on the line. Nothing risked, nothing gained right?

Funny stories from the weekend:

Ohio is freaking lawless. There was a sign on the LIBRARY door in Kent that said had a gun with a line though it. It said something like "no guns allowed unless you have a permit to carry a gun"... Which in my mind is like a sign saying you cant do illegal things? Or maybe they had a problem with the black panthers rolling into town with guns?

Mayhew and I are standing in the pit after giving Eric a new wheel during his race. I point out a 2000 dollar wheelset with 250 dollars worth of tires glued to it. I was like "oh those are my pit wheels" (fyi both of my cross bikes would maybe cost 2500 new TOTAL) and we both laughed. Then some old dude rides into the pit all frantic.

Me: "dude grab your wheels, we can get your wheel off".

He rolled a tubular rear tire.
I undo his skewer and pull his cassette out of his derailleur. The rolled tire itself is being hooked on the brakes so it is stopping the wheel from falling out.

dude: "SHIFT IT DOWN TO GET THE WHEEL OUT... LET ME DO IT... RAARRRRRRRRR!!!!
mayhew tries to explain the situation to him. He wont listen. We walk away.

Guess who's freaking 2000 dollar wheels they were? Exactly. Brother could have had 3 bikes in the pit, or could have bought me lunch and I would have glued his tires on properly.



I have been listening to a lot of Cock Sparer after traveling with Eric and hearing it for the first time in a decade.

Things wrong with me listening to Cock Sparer:
Im not a Brittish nationalist.
I am not a Nationalist.
I am not working class.
I dont really even work.
I dont drink.
I dont like soccer.

Its catchy though!

Dear Internet Cyclocross Diary....

2 weeks of racing since my last post.

The Jersey weekend was a total suckfest. I couldnt ride fast on the packed stuff and I couldnt ride slow in the mud. I was just no good. I even had a pit crew to hand up bikes. "Who is the dude in last getting a bike a lap?"...

Then I was riding during the week with my brother and fell over on some wet leaves. I was avoiding a log crossing and took easy path around it and fell over. ugh. I jammed my finger. It hurts still.

This weekend was Delaware MAC and Maryland MABRA races. I had good legs for the first time since September I think. I could jump out of every turn and attack a bit. 7th Sat and 2nd Sun. Sunday was a climbers course and I actually didnt blow up. It may have been the first race this year where I had a better position at the end than lap 1, like I went forward instead of backwards.

Thought process on Sunday:
"seriously guys slow down"
"I hope I flat, this sucks"
"sweet I am in the money"
"dang I am on the podium"
"there is a chance that I can win this"

Anyway, I out sprinted a sprinter for 2nd, which was cool. That was an unexpected result, so I was pretty freaking stoked.

We stayed with a friend who I have known for like a decade. We were both cool kids and now we are both ex cool kid now bike racers. His wife was limping and I asked if she was ok. She told me that she has foot cancer (?!?!). Needless to say that is not good.

So I was like "I can totally relate to your problems, I stoved my finger this week and thought I was going to have to ride my B bike with shimano STI's instead of my A bike with Sram in order to have extra leverage to upshift. I was really stressed about it."

I didnt actually say that, I was just pointing out my problems against hers. What I thought was "dude her problems show how much of a freaking cake walk your life is..."
Take a life lesson there...

Monday I rode Raystown lake with Babik for a long time. Raystown is apparently a newer trail system by Altoona / State College. It lived up to the hype and was some of the best riding I have ever done. Go there before the snow falls. It is rare that you can go 25 mph uphill for like 5 minutes straight.


Oh yeah, if you are still reading this crap you have earned this video of a cyclocross race in Paris in 1945. badass.

These are free.. The book will not be.

When your can of WD-40 doesnt squirt anymore but you shake it and there is still some left:
Take needle nose pliers and and take that top circle off. Its like 3/4" in diameter and comes off pretty easily. You will be amazed how much more you get, and how much you have probably thrown away over the years.

This is about the same as cutting the head off of your squeeze tube of toothpaste to get a few more days' worth of paste.

Seriously though:
Getting famous in a magazine? Not me. Gerry Kraynick, is apparently in the new Bicycling magazine. I heard that I am in the new velonews, but they are not comparable. I was just having fun, Gerry has put a lifetime into being a really good guy. I have not read the article, but I would venture that it talks about; letting people use tools for free, giving hundreds of bikes away to needy kids, B race cyclocross domination over several years, etc.

Last weekend was local cross racing. Murrysville and Raccoon. Second step both days. Oh well.

2 hours.

What a difference two hours and an eight mile drive can make.

Amy's work is helping host a man from South Africa over the next few weeks. It was his dream to visit America and a nice man made it possible. We had him over for dinner last night, and we invited a few of the older Somali kids (now adults). It makes sense right? You guys must have something to talk about, you are from the same continent but like 4000 miles away from one another. Right?

They talked about soccer. Well and they talked about oppression, living under Apartheid, living in refugee camps, witnessing extreme racism and poverty. The people in charge seemed to have the same basic idea, turn countrymen on one another based on race or tribe, and divide them... I think the quote of the evening while a young Somali guy was looking at a book about Apartheid, "man Europeans are animals..." This was after they both talked about living under European colonization, one as recent as 16 years ago.

So then Amy and I drove 15 minutes to an area I can only describe as "upper fox chapel" for some sort of art happening in which she was involved. We had the shittiest car in the lot by about $20,000. It was normal art party stuff, wine, beer, people fake laughing while wearing expensive clothes, etc. What really got me though was the ring one woman had on. I am not a jeweler and know very little about diamonds, however I can only guess that it cost as much as a few cars in the lot. I stared at it for a minute thought about the difference between the men from Africa and her. What a crazy world.

Then I drank like 3 or 4 more free waters and hit the road.

Post race text conversations.

Babik: How did you do?
Me: Paul Martin* won.
Babik: So he is good at all bike racing?
Me: Yeah. And he is like a lawyer too. And I hear that he sometimes cures cancer.


I was talking to Dave before the race and said "I dont care what place I get, if I beat Paul Im putting my arms in the air"... Another time.


*for those who dont know.

On Cyclocross.... public thanks.

Ok, so I am pretty stoked on racing cross.

Here are a few things that are pretty freaking awesome.

- Having 2 bikes. A brother hooked me up with some nice 10sp shifters last year saying that I needed a pit bike. I was not going to argue, but wasnt super sure of it. This weekend in Cincinnati I took a few bike exchanges the first day in the TOTAL MUD FEST. It made a huge difference having a mud free bike. Thank you Sean.

- Sweet people. John and Dave pitted for me Friday. This basically consists of standing in cold mud and having me throw a dirty bike at them so they can hand a cleaner one back to me. Somehow they were stoked on it. I was all like "let me buy you beers" and then I didnt (due to John going to another race sunday and getting paid that day in checks not cash etc etc). I OWE YOU. Awesome.

- Crowd hecklers / cheerers. It took 5 laps on Sunday until I was offered NON ALCOHOLIC BEER hand ups. That is freaking awesome. Im still not sure who those kids were, but they were obviously down. Each day I also made about 6 dollars in crowd money. This was then used to buy cokes for people I raced against afterward. A coke after a cross races is indescribable. No I wont even try to describe it.

Finally
- SRAM shifters (warning, total bike geek stuff...)... After the mudfest of Friday, I had to play with my bike some. The shifting was not perfect Sunday and I was a bit worried that the shifter might have shifted its last shift. (We are talking 1st generation Rival Aluminum shifters with at least 10,000 miles on them for real). I took it apart today cause it wasnt dropping into the smallest cog in the back very well. I am fairly mechanically inept as far as dudes who have been tinkering with bike stuff for 20 years goes. It was so easy. Remember the 9 speed sti's and how you knew when one was dead and there was like nothing you could do but push up on the shift lever while shifting or stick a rubber band around it to hold it to the brake? ....

- took shifter off.
- took 3 screws out and removed plate.
- cleaned all the dirt and muck out of the wheel that I saw. (you can actually see how the shifter works right here. Unlike the shimano stuff...)...
- cleaned it better
- sprayed it with T9
- put 3 screws back in and put on bike.

It seriously feels really really good. Not new, but really good. So stoked.

On Cyclocross, Pittsburgh Bike History and the Misfits...

Cyclocross rules. I hate driving more than 2 hours for a 1 hour criterium, but for cross, a 5 hour drive is no sweat. The mid atlantic rules. There were a lot of fast dudes from the Mid Atlantic going head to head with National "pro" cross racers these last few days in Ohio. Bad Andy, Wes, Wittwer etc. Pretty impressive.
Maybe I just like it cause I do ok at it? I think I would still enjoy it if I was worse than I am.


Pittsburgh Bike Racing History:

So I caught a ride down this weekend for the UCI 3 day with Gerry Pflug. Pflug might be the most accomplished bike racer that people dont know is that accomplished. To quote Ryan Leech "Pflug is a legend." I remember the first time that I raced him, I was like "who is this gray haired dude dropping me on the climbs?!!?!"
On top of it, he has a history of all of Pittsburgh racing for the past 25 years or so. Chew has it too, but you have to have the ability to talk to Chew to get it. Who knew Scotty Root won a silver medal at master's worlds? I didnt. So somebody in the know needs to make a website or something with all of the awesomeness of Western PA before it is long forgotten.

And The Misfits:
The Misfits and Cross go hand and hand, being that it is Halloween (video from 82 pre roided out Danzig) time. They were basically a bunch of jocks dressed in costumes singing songs about horror movies, but were branded a punk band. Danzig became Danzig, Robo was in Black Flag, and in true adult American spirit, they grew up and sued each other for lots of money and rights. Awesome.

"Walk Among Us" was the first punk cassette I owned. It was like 1988 or 89. Between my brother and myself, we wore that thing out. In the late 90's sometime, the box set came out with the lyrics and tons of odd recordings. It was awesome. For those of you who like to download music.... Dont feel bad, cause if you have a good enough lawyer you could probably own the rights to the music as Doyle and Jerry Only do now. The 4 disc box set:

http://www.mediafire.com/file/1mn4nxmjmnd/Fits D1.rar
http://www.mediafire.com/file/g4mtmtwxkdo/Fits D2.rar
http://www.mediafire.com/file/e3hzrtnyjod/Fits D3.rar
http://www.mediafire.com/file/jm02gztarnh/Fits D4.rar


What do you think we are ...lightweights?

Last of vegas. 2 day bump = Going to Zion.

Willie (Nicol's cousin from California)... Nicol and I drove up to Zion and hiked the Angels Landing Trail.
We were REALLY close to Colorado City, AZ which is the polygamy capital of the US. It is also has the highest rate of fumarase deficiency in the world, which is caused by having "uncle dads"... yeah make fun of Appalachia and west virginia. Like everybody in the city is a direct descendant of 2 - 3 people. Creepy. Didnt make the side trip though.

Picture dump:




We hiked to the top of this thing


This is the "great arch" of zion. Wind did this. That is pretty great.



Cool trail up.



Then it got kind of scary, like 1800 foot cliffs.


1/2 mile from here to the top along this spine. It took 45 minutes to an hour. Drop offs on both sides.



Kind of gnarly.


View upriver. We did not come from this direction.


View back down the spine.



View downriver the way we came.


California Condor migrated to zion from the grand canyon. Largest north american bird. Pretty sick. If I were a "birder" I have probably seen a lot of birds in my travels, however Matt and I just made fun of birders and the advice to see rare birds when we did the Great Divide MTB route.





The dudes.



Another arch. Crazy.


About as much fun as you can have winging a day trip somewhere that you dont know at all.


what?

More time than money. Vegas Part II

So this was my first interbike, and my first time in Vegas.

Vegas is like Halloween fused with St Patricks day. Everybody uses it as an excuse to get stupid drunk, and women use it as an excuse to dress in ridiculous outfits showing as much skin as legally possible. Much like the holidays it is entertaining for a minute, then super annoying for the hours after.





Tons of Swag. SURLY METRIC MEASURING TAPE!!!


Will walk 10 miles for 30 gel packs. 3 cheer packs. Some R4 samples.



I got into the cervelo party. This was serious. I drank like 40 dollars in Fiji water.heinrich haussler was there.


MJ seat cover. Anybody from the Burgh remember B rose? He runs the Shockspital.



Free T9 lube. Also Dumontech. Good stuff.

Water bottles...


Shopping bags..

This thing is sweet, it turns old tubes into bungee cords and tie downs. Awesome.




I took 3 bumps for a total of 1050 in southwest credit. More time than money for sure. One of the bumps was 2 days!


Stoked on my new hat as well!