Monday, April 30, 2007


After hurting on the climb yesterday I get this sponsored link:

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Everybody on the team this weekend has a coach but me. 2 dudes are coaches, 2 of them have srm's. I guess this is the next level? great. I have like 9 more years until I can even start doing masters races.

How does cycling not have TONS of sponsorship money?? Nascar does, and Im going to say the average nascar fan makes a LOT less money than the average cycling enthusiast. Sure, there are more of them, but do they really need to be reminded to buy Tide for 10 hours straight or whatever?

Example: Dudes having SPARE DEEP DISH CARBON WHEELS in the wheel pit for the ephrata crit. Yes, I have a pair. Yes they are fast.But come on. If dudes have enough money sitting around to buy 2500 dollar wheels every year, Im sure they have other expendable income for car wax, or disposable couches or something abusrd.

Pittsburgh was voted the most livable city again this year! OH YES! Unless a judge orders otherwise, smoking will be banned in all restaurants starting tomorrow. Does this mean that I will leave my house? Probably not. However, Madmex sends you a coupon for a free meal on your birthday if you fill out their survey. I will go to madmex for free.

Danny Chew: the cheapest man alive?
Ok - he has 20,000 miles on his current chain. He saves the 4 spare links when he has when he puts a new chain on, and then makes a chain out of them ever 200,000 miles or whatever. That makes sense.
However this is just amazing. On the 11th of every month he calls up AOL. "hello I have been using your free trial software, and I simply cannot afford to to pay for the monthly service fee. Please cancel my subscription without billing me."
On the 12th of every month "Hello I got a CD for a free trial subscription. I am interested in your product and would like to try a free month trial."
He has been doing this for SEVEN YEARS.

Will there be a coupon for free ice cream in the goodie bag from turkey hill this year? please please please!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

To whom it may concern

To anybody who thinks:
- that I need to get a job
- that I have too much time on my hands
- that I ride too much

Please note -
Danny rode 1000 miles in the last week.
yes, 1000

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

1 more thing about mt joy. and the MS ride.

Some kid (possibly the puttter in the dirt) PISSED HIMSELF during the race. Sure when it was 40 degrees and raining at Bear Mountain, I let it go. Nobody knew and I was in "the nicoll position" (back of the field) so nobody got wet. In the cold rain, it felt like a massage. However, when it is 50 degrees and sunny, people are going to notice, especially when you are getting YOUR PISS on THEM. There were like 3 places where you could totally pee on that course. WTF?

The ladylove and I are going to do the MS 150 charity ride thing. Im planning on eating at least 300 dollars worth of free clif bars all weekend. If anybody wants to donate like 5 dollars towards it, my explanation of how many clif bars I am going to eat is here: On my donation page! Amy's page is here

Monday, April 16, 2007

The slums Im from

Does the kid who put me into the dirt on the climb during Mount Joy on Saturday know that in the last year there have been 2 double homicides and 1 6 alarm arson fire within 1 block of my house? Has he seen my THUG LIFE tattoos?
No but seriously, I thought we were supposed to be gentrifying this neighborhood? Come on already.

I finished 100% of my bicycle races this weekend. Holy hell. Compare that to 0% from 2 weeks ago!
Mount Joy Summary: Little hill grew every lap. Not as much wind as last year. Ramon thought that I was HACKER! ("Whoah Hacker got so skinny!!") Douchebag puts me in the dirt on the last climb. I ride the dirt and get back in. Downhill field sprint, where I place the same as last year, last in the field.

The professor had to ride to the race, and home, according to his coach. We got home at 9pm from Mt Joy, Up at 6am. Pancakes and metallica. 40 degree rain for 2 hours. We get there and race in 37 degree rain. Emily drove down to race and brought us hot chocolate and dry race clothes. Professor flats in the first 10 minutes. I spent like an hour and a half with Jared and Turner chasing a british time trialist. It was made harder when turner flatted. Last in the 3 man break. I was supposed to ride home, but I did not sack up at all and totally took a ride. Mike didnt quite know how to get home and took the ride too. I went from what Chew would call HEROIC to not even getting the century. So Mike's coach, and my mentor will both be let down

Thursday, April 12, 2007

I work hardly at all. Amy works 60 hours a week.

Amy works too hard. She has 3 jobs. 1 job is a teacher for public schools. 500 students, 2 different schools. grades k - 8. Yes kindergarteners and 8th graders sit in the same art seats. Weird huh? She teaches an after school program, and works the weekends as a waitress. She is also the official at the crits, which is kind of like a 4th job. She has kids who are blind, MR (mentally retarded), adhd, and other things These are all in the same classes. One kid looked her in the eyes and called her a "faggot."
Well right when the job couldnt have gotten worse, this happens.

"Bomb Squad Called To Local Elementary School"
2:30 PM UPDATE: Chopper 11 shows students and parents outside at the
far end of the school.

2:05 PM UPDATE: Pittsburgh Public Schools spokeswoman Ebony Pugh told
Channel 11 a car drove by and someone threw a homemade device, wrapped
in duct tape, into the rear parking lot of the school. School
officials are keeping the kids and staff inside the building. They are
continuing with class as normal, but will delay dismissal if

She cant leave work because all the teacher's cars are in the lot where the bomb squad is. Poor her, after standing in the rain last night at the crit.

You think Krall diggler, owning sportsbalm and all, would have sacked up and ridden in the rain last night right? I guess he didnt want to clean his bike twice in a week. Weak.

Also, I recently found a bunch of Pilates, Yoga, and Swiss ball exercises on youtube. Pretty sweet. If you are still paying to go to a yoga class, just admit that you are really just going to look at girls.

Monday, April 09, 2007

t500 runs again

I took apart my oldest and most awesome bike last fall to do my "great divide" trip. I put it back together today. cannondale t500. 8 speed bar end shifters, low gear of 32x32.
I bought it and rode it from Pittsburgh to Seattle in 2001. Then across The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxemburg, Germany, The Czech Republic and into Poland, then Back to Germany in 2003. I rode the Pittsburgh - DC trail on it. It has racks and fenders and sometimes has hauled a BOB trailer.
I started working as a bike messenger on it in 2001, but then caught the cool guy bug and bought a real actual road bike.
My dispatcher borrowed it in 2004 and managed to get it stolen while he went in to get a 6 pack.A year later Brett Brody and I were riding home from our all too awesome jobs at Jet when I saw some kid ride past on it. We turned around and Brett was the muscle and I took my bike back from the kid. He offered to ride it to my house for me, but I said "you are done riding this bike." I just held the stem and rode the rest of the way home, leaving that kid standing there with his helmet on and his U-lock in hand. It is my steady errand runner, rainy day rider and future tour hopeful.
I actually finished a bike race this weekend! HIGH OF 28 degrees in April!! 20 something mile ride there, 20 something mile race, 20 something miles back in a partial whiteout. 80 something mile day. Only Mayhew and myself did the full roundtrip. Danny Chew told me that he was proud. My buddy Minturn took the W. I felt bad for Chris Cioccio. We put the hurt on him so bad that he faked a flat. 3 gpoa nerds attacking jake was like the end of braveheart, he just wouldnt give up and you just wanted to hear "MERCY!!!" but he fought and fough. Gnarly.

Today is Dingus Day. According to 1 of the 4 polish people that I know, it means that boys dump water on girls, or shoot them with squirt guns. Very interesting.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

this plane is totally crashing

The worst part of the weekend was the actual bike races. I actually contributed to society somewhat (more than I have in like 6 years), and met up with friends from Bike Pittsburgh and Map Hub to brainstorm ideas and start the early stages of the Pittsburgh Bicycle Map. Pretty sweet and honored to be included in a neat process of seeking out roads and whatnot that are good to ride, and what isnt, etc.
Left the Burgh and headed for Hebe's house. 5 hours later we were asleep like kids nervous about christmas the next day. First race jitters. Killer breakfast, killer coffee, nice people. 23 miles or so of an 84 mile race... 4 hour drive back home. I was so freaking bummed to be dropped so early. Dropped from the front not the back, just being stupid. My "buddy" Minturn pulled out the 3rd, which was mad impressive. People are really fast. Oh well. Its not like I flatted 2 tubulars or anything.
Woke up Sun, and headed to Mingo, the local race here. Felt good. Pouring rain. Flatted front, chased on, flatted rear. Shoot me. Jared and Turner went off the front for the 1,2. I Went and got Coffee with Stubna and Emily.

Taxi drivers are miserable. I rode down in the dark this morning and got a cab. Sitting in the airport parkinglot for hours on end reading books and "the times" (this is what people who only read the NYT call it), I hear a lot of awful conversations.
- Complain about management at yellow cab
- Complain about family
- Complain about penndot.
These are like 90% of the complaints. Today they were complaining that the management had to bring everybody's taxi in TO INCREASE THE METER RATE. Yes, everybody was going to get a 25 cent increase on the start of every fare. Why on earth would they complain about this? They were.

So you get out of the hospital and are too sick/tired/poor to drive or take a bus home. You get a cab voucher. I pull up, you hand it to me and dont really care what happens. I drive you to your house, and you get out. Now I have this thing that I have to fill in. There is the fare and room for a tip. There is NO PROCEDURE as to how to fill it out. I am pretty honest, I do however give myself a 40% or so tip. Is this more honest than giving myself 20% on a fare that I inflated? I dont know.

I got paid 70 dollars to drive luggage 40 miles or so across town. That was freaking sweet.