Monday, March 10, 2008

2008 oval predictions

2008 Oval predictions:
-Friedman finally just (solo) laps the field. (duh)
-Up to and including first two points races are canceled due to snow.
-Oscar bans aero equipment in time trials. (skin suits included)
-Nobody will go get the "track closed" sign for the 9th straight year
-I ordered 2x the safety pins as last year, so everybody will take twice as many, leaving them to run out on the same day as last year, with like 3 races to go putting me in an investment bind.
-Ruggs uses his "new dad strength" to fight off escaped tiger while fu zoo crew warms up
-Chew completes 24 hour 500 mile day at oval on a 5 dollar bet (seriously might happen)
-City buys Marty a Zamboni machine for the oval with savings from not cleaning the mens room
-More than 10 people (myself included) actually buy their membership more than 24 hours before the first points race!!!!
-Ruggs realizes that "new dad strength" is what he used to call "old man strength"
-Chulack uses new law degree to lobby for golf course where the oval is and is then put in a headlock by Lifson after he eats 3 lunches (rivers club, duquesne club and the common plea)
-Danny seriously might ride 1000 laps at the oval for 5 dollars


Captain Insano said...

I'll put down 5 bucks to see Dan ride 1000 laps.

Burt Friggin' Hoovis said...

I'd put down $100 to never have to read another dumb article about Danny running up and down the Cathedral of Learning like some OCD retard on focusing pills.

Any idea how I could arrange that?


steevo said...


Are you sure you ride your rollers in the garage and not the glass house?

Burt Friggin' Hoovis said...

Are you calling me an OCD retard on focusing pills?