Monday, July 14, 2008

"Local 'elite athlete' cannot mow his own lawn."

Pittsburgh, PA

Lawrenceville resident Stephen Cummings is having trouble with grass. "We bought the house and thought the yard was a bonus, but cutting it has been really strenuous." Cummings is an "elite level cyclist," commonly competing against current and past professionals. He trains somewhere between 13-20 hours per week, teaches exercise classes for money, and tries to eat a healthy vegetarian diet. The yard in question is roughly 300 sq feet, or the size of an decent living room.

"We won the team time trial on Saturday, averaging 27.8 mph for 20 miles, and then I did a hard four hour training ride on Sunday. I felt really good riding on Sunday, and should have probably driven to the mountain bike race that I was looking at." Instead, after the ride, Cummings took on his yard. "Its just unbearable, the sun beats down on me, the grass is super high, and my heart rate is spiked by the time I get to the far end, and then I have to come back and then do that like five more times. I am thinking of paying the little Somali kids to cut it with scissors or something, cause it is seriously wiping me out."

Cummings concluded with "It still isnt as bad as the time Amy went on vacation and I let it go for two months and we got a letter from the city, it must have taken me a month to recover from that effort."


Amy said...

You are soft!

Burt Friggin' Hoovis said...

Good move putting quotation marks around elite athlete.


glenn said...

robomow dude

Reddan said...

Gravel doesn't need to be mowed. Dump it out, scuff it around with your feet, and call it a rock garden.

And the occasional weed that forces its way through the rocks is "bonsai".

Anonymous said...

I bet a large Icee Mocha with a shot of espresso from Panera bread and a collosal double cheeseburger from Friendlies woulda gotter done.

ridin at 4:20 said...

Two words:


Captain Tenille said...

this looks like a papp post. quoting your own thoughts and then acting like it was an interview.

get a job!

gary said...

do you need me to move back in? i loved cutting the grass. you know, you get to work on your tan.

Anonymous said...

I was leaving for a club time trial 20 years ago and my wife commented "another afternoon you don't have time to mow?"

I was steamed and set a PR that afternoon.

Also came home, sold the lawn mower and made a deal with some kids that mowed.

I've have been living happily ever after!

Yardwork is NOT cross training.

Burt Friggin' Hoovis said...

The title of this post should be "local elite athlete cannot update his blog"


Chris Mayhew said...

Can elite local athlete rake his own yard?